Five simple words can destroy your chances of finding connectionaccording to one dating expert.
Australian matchmaker and dating coach Louanne Ward knows what turns a guy on and how a woman can find “the one” – but she says some women accidentally turn their soul mates away.
Speaking to 9Honey, Ward claimed men treat dating like a challenge and try to win the “prize,” which is finding the person they want to marry.
He says women who exclaim “I don’t need a man” while playing dating games are actually uttering a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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“The words we speak become our reality,” Ward told 9Honey. “This is twisted irony, this is a negative comment that has an absolute bad effect on a man.”
Ward didn’t want women to misinterpret his advice. She warmly hugs feminism and the idea that a relationship isn’t the only thing that can make a woman happy.
However, if you are actively looking for a romantic partner – this phrase can derail your search.
We have 90 percent of women trying to date 10 percent of men
“What many women don’t realize, is— [a lot of] men should feel like they’re going to win a prize,” Ward continued.
“They want to feel that it’s worth it. Because, once a woman says, ‘I don’t need you’, it’s no longer a challenge because she doesn’t need to be in her life. Testosterone actually drops.”
If a man tells a woman that he doesn’t “need” her to be happy, it will be a disappointing experience, says Ward. So why would you say it if you were hoping to attract a guy?
His words of warning may come across as controversial, but Ward’s resume speaks for itself.
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As a certified relationship expert, she knows what habits can get in the way of a healthy and happy dating life.
Ward’s tip for women looking to find the “perfect” man is simple. Stop looking for “perfect” and embrace the idea of a flawed individual.
“There are so many great men out there, and we often embarrass certain things — whether it’s work or whether they open up emotionally or not,” he says.
“You’re unrealistic. In my perception we have 90 percent of women trying to date 10 percent of men. And no one is going to tick every box.”
In her experience as a matchmaker, Ward also found that many women tend to shy away from “imperfect” men because she doesn’t want to have to “train” them.
But she says men are only human and will always need to be “trained” – or in other words, taught how to meet your specific needs.
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“Of course you have to train her. Because if she’s been with other women before, her needs are different from yours,” he continued.
So instead of saying, ‘I don’t want to coach a guy’, think, ‘I can’t wait to teach him about me’ instead.”
Ward made headlines last week after sharing videos about “five words that keep you single”.
Posting the clip to Instagram, she explains that stating that you don’t need a guy has the opposite effect if you really want to find a partner.
“Every time you say ‘I don’t need a man’, all you do is show what you’re pulling back,” she says.
“That’s right. You don’t need a man. You get your own money, you can support yourself, you have your own life. You are happy.
“So you may not need a man, but you actually need all the things a man can give you.”
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